What's it like to grow up in Denmark? To experience childhood in the Kingdom of Danmark? To be a Danish child is to know the words to a song demanding iced buns in exchange for not causing trouble (and to most likely have a well-developed bat swing). Why the strong feelings about buns and violent tendencies? An ancient pagan holiday held just before Lent that the Danes call Fastelavn.

To the non-Dane Fastelavn (hear how Fastelavn is pronounced) can be generalized this way: it's a medieval holiday mash-up of Halloween and Carnival and a RPG and an a pretty good excuse to party.

Our pals at Wikipedia describe Fastelavn this way:

Fastelavn is the name for Carnival in Denmark which is either the Sunday or Monday before Ash Wednesday. Fastelavn evolved from the Roman Catholic tradition of celebrating in the days before Lent, but after Denmark became a Protestant nation, the holiday became less specifically religious. This holiday occurs seven weeks before Easter Sunday and is sometimes described as a Nordic Halloween, with children dressing up in costumes and gathering treats for the Fastelavn feast. The holiday is generally considered to be a time for children's fun and family games.

Because the Danes enjoy the macabre, Fastelavn starts with morning rudeness when Danish children wake up early to beat their sleeping parents with birch branches while singing a song with these cheerful lyrics:

Hvis jeg ingen boller får (If I get no buns)
Så laver jeg ballade (So I make trouble)

Later on in the day the kiddos dress up in costumes and play a game of slå katten af tønden ("hit the cat out of the barrel") which involves beating the crap out of a suspended wooden barrel full of candy that has an image of a black cat on it:

Later, everyone relaxes and admires their candy haul over hot chocolate, Fastelavnsboller, cookies and more singing and then everyone goes door to door demanding candy from strangers.

So, if you want to know how to be Danish, here's some advice: learn the Fastelavn song, improve your swing, and go find the perfect birch branch to beat your parents with.

Oh...and learn how to make (and eat!) Fastelavnsboller:

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